I remember vividly, standing in the doorway of my senior manager's office asking if it was important to reach our full potential? What did it matter anyway? What was the purpose of reaching our fullest potential?
As you guessed, I was not in a great mental space.
The saddest thing of all was that the very questions I was asking actually contained the answer - P U R P O S E
Several years of life changing therapy and a hunger for self development I find my self sitting in my coach’s chair with that massive epiphany lightbulb above my head - so that’s what my purpose is! Now my life makes sense!
So what’s the big deal about PURPOSE?
the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
a person's sense of resolve or determination.
Our purpose guides our choices, influences our behaviours, provides a sense of direction and gives real meaning to your life.
My eldest son has an expression ‘hot sauce’ to describe that state of heightened sensation and excitement, the stuff that makes you want to jump up and down just because. Pretty much sums up what our life purpose is!
It makes life worth living, for ourselves and everyone in our village.
When you meet someone who is living on purpose you can’t help but feel more energised, when you are in their company it feels like the world suddenly got more colour in it, their ‘hot sauce’ has just added the most delicious flavour to your day.
So how do we find our ‘hot sauce’? How do I find my purpose in life?
I really want to tell you it’s super complicated, it’s going to take years of deep and personal coaching with me, and potentially you will have to sign over all your assets, shave your head and walk the length and breadth of the earth to gain enlightenment … but just for you I have a super quick and easy way to define your life purpose. However, I am always happy for you to sign over all your assets to me (keep your kids, I have enough) if you so desire.
Determining your purpose, your raison d'être, your own personal brand of hot sauce comes down to these questions:
Who am I?
What do I do?
Who do I do it for?
What do they want / need?
How do they change or transform as a result of what I do?
Let’s look at that in a bit more detail:
Who am I? Let’s just start with your first name.
What do I do? Think of this as your life’s work - What do you love to do? What are your gifts or talents? What is the one thing you are an expert in? Or what is the thing that just makes sense whenever you do it?
Who do I do it for? When performing your life’s work, who is the recipient or who benefits from what you do? What group or type of people have a better life because of what you do? Create a really strong picture of the persona or people your do it for.
What do they want / need? What is about your life’s work that your people ask you for the most? What is their greatest lack or challenge?
How do they change or transform as a result of what I do? What is the lasting benefit your work provides your people?
One client felt like she didn’t really have a life purpose, she was ‘just a mum’ and now her kids were older (early - late teens) she felt like the only benefit she offered them was a free taxi and snacking service.
Look what happened:
My name is ________, I am a mother of 3 ambitious busy young men who rely on me for guidance, security and nurturing as they become independent, successful men.
Defining her purpose gave this client greater clarity into why she was so vital and where she could fin opportunity to improve her life and the life of her boys. She found new was to reach out to each of her sons and support their choices without judgement, her availability for pick ups increased as she realised how much safer (by extension: loved) her boys felt if she was there for them, and snacking became high powered rocket fuel to energise their day.
Taxi service? or Mother of Princes?
Note - just as we select a different sauce for different occasions, most people will have a different purpose for different aspects of their life. As a mum your purpose may be quite different to your role as a CFA volunteer. And as life grows and changes, your hot sauce will bloom and grow to.
Let’s play with these questions:
Who am I? Linda
What do I do? Life Coach
Who do I do it for? Women
What do they want / need? To get more fulfillment out of life
How do they change or transform as a result of what I do? They liberate themselves and build a vibrant life on their terms, creating a future based on their choices
Put it all together:
My name is Linda, I am a Life Coach who guides women to get more out of life so they can live wild and free on their own terms, creating a bright future for themselves and their families.
Okay, now it’s your turn.
But before you start, I just want to take a moment and say that if you are not doing what you love right now, reframe the questions around what you want to do or get the most joy from doing, who you want to do it for etc.
Grab a pen and paper and start writing:
Who are you?
What do you do?
Who do you do it for?
What do they want / need?
How do they change or transform as a result of what you do?
Next step - tell someone.
This is the bit that makes it real. Saying it out loud, telling your loved ones, friends and even work colleagues. Take them through the questions, share with them the joy of finding the hot sauce of life. You just never know who is questioning their reason to live, what value they are to society. You may just be the persona that switches on that great big epiphany lightbulb for them and makes their world a bigger brighter place again.
The first few weeks after I discovered my purpose I told everyone, wrote it everywhere, shared it with the kids, made a pretty graphic out of it, and stuck it everywhere I could. I felt so worthwhile finally having a purpose.
I would love to share your newly discovered hot sauce flavour - private message me on the socials @ferraricoaching or send it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Coaching note - this is a great exercise and is a wonderful revelation for many people. It’s quick and easy and fun to do and imagine the possibilities.
However, the real benefit is when you go deeper into each question.
Question the questions. Question your answers - is this my real answer or my learnt or domesticated answer? Does this purpose make me want to jump up and down on the couch?
Self reflection is vital in this process. Sometimes our first answers are absolutely spot on, and sometimes the answers are the ones we are conditioned to answer, the answer we have learnt are acceptable in the village.
Be courageous enough to question and answer from the deepest part of you. I suggest taking the questions for a long quiet walk and see what comes to you (for me it’s around the 6km point where I strike gold), go to a park or beach and sit with Mother Nature and meditate with her on the answers.
The next step to defining your purpose is to live your life on purpose, for this I recommend personal coaching sessions to help you strip away the limiting beliefs and conditioned behaviours and release the real you, create strategies to support you as you create the life you want and the future you need for yourself and your family.
When I work with my clients on their purpose we go much deeper over several sessions discussing their top values, what drives them, and work through busting what holds them back from living on purpose. If this is something that interests you, please book a discovery call, no cost and no obligation.
Worksheets available for Explorer & Seeker Members-
When I Grow Up