Limited by your beliefs?

9 months into an extraordinary year, I am surrounded by new growth and that joy-filled vibrancy and promise of fresh new exciting things fills the air here in Melbourne as Mumma Nature wraps us in her truly glorious in her Spring

This is a great time to reflect on how we are blossoming and blooming.

A great time to pause and reflect on what we have nurtured and grown this year.

Time to reflect on our goals and intentions.

How are you going with your 2020 New years Resolutions?

Most of mine have pretty much floated away, or been wrapped and put back on the shelf for another year.

I could blame Covid - a global pandemic is a handy excuse

I could blame significant life changes and another move - both of those are pretty good excuses too

But I know I have achieved bigger goals in weirder and tougher situations, so why have I let so many of my goals drop away this year?

Great question.

Some of the goals are forfeit in my current circumstances or due to restrictions I just can’t do achieve them. This year.

For example - my 100 km solo weekend walk, not achievable with a damaged back situation that prevented me from walking even 1 kilometre. That’s a real reason to not achieve that goal, however not achieving the savings goal. that’s a scarcity mindset and massive limiting belief I need to rework.

These hidden limiting beliefs hold me back from achieving that next level, that big goal. The unconscious and well worn path of negative self belief hinders me from reaching out and grabbing the delicious, juicy rewards I want and deserve.

Scarcity mindset - be warned! I’m coming for you!

So where do these limiting beliefs come from?

The simple answer - repeated negative fear based thoughts that repeated over and over (by you or someone else) becomes your default pattern, your standard operating procedure.

The longer answer - your thoughts create your reality, so if you continue to put negative thoughts, or fearful thinking as part of your normal processing, then that is exactly what your life looks like.

But for most of us, it’s really subtle, it’s messages we received as a child about money, or the media informing us how to think about our bodies, partners stitching in self-worth issues.

These negative thoughts start of like someone walking through a paddock of tall grass, at first not much of an impression is made, but after a while that child watching her mother stress every day about how to pay the rent and feed her children becomes a well worn pathway by the time she is in primary school, she just knows ‘we don’t have money’, by the time she reaches her teens the pathway has become a footpath, by the time she mothers her own children it’s like a superhighway of ‘we have no money’ and this scarcity plays out in choices and behaviours everyday.

You may have met people who’s lives are a repeated pattern of not enough money to cover the essentials, savings are empty, car needs a service, … etc etc.

The ‘we don’t have money’ groove deepens, and flows on to the next generation.

The most common human limiting beliefs are:

1. Fear of success 2. Fear of failure 3. Fear we are not good enough to achieve what we want 4. Fear of not being loved/being unlovable 5. Fear of rejection – generally leading you to avoid relationships or people please 6. Scarcity or negative attitude to being rich/having money 7. Fear of greatness 8. Not worthy of success 9. Have to work very hard, long hours for our money 10. Others hold me back.

Any of these sound familiar?

The most wonderful thing is that these LIMITING BELIEFS can be reversed in the same process as they were made.

Takes some effort in the form of willingness and consistency, but can be accomplished with life changing results.

The key concept to combat LIMITING BELIEFS: you are what you think.

I’d love to tell you that as a Coach I have all that stuff sorted, that I have blasted all my limiting beliefs and I live without the burden of negativity in my brain.

I wish! I am very much a work in progress.

I have a great toolbox of skills, techniques and training, I have a bucket of lived experiences, and I have smashed a lot of my limiting beliefs, but every so often I reflect on the ‘what’s holding me back from …’ I discover I have slipped back into an old pattern.

Fortunately I am still learning and growing and discovery new ways to live a more successful life, and limiting belief busting is a toll I use regularly.

So what can I do about my LIMITING BELIEFS?

Here’s a little exercise that is super simple, and super effective.

Are you ready? maybe grab a pen and some paper for this one:

  • Write a list of goals or intentions you have not yet achieved

  • Next to each one, write all the reasons why you haven’t achieved it

  • Take a look at your responses, highlight the ones that refer to you, the ‘facts’ about why you as a person didn’t achieve the goal e.g. lack of confidence, uncomfortable in front of the camera, lazy, etc

  • Based on these personal ‘facts’ about you, write an ‘I am …’ statement that is the opposite, example: low confidence = I am confident at work; I am fun and energetic in front of the camera; I am motivated and willing to get the job done.

  • Now it’s reflection time - write this new list of ‘I am …’ statements on a fresh sheet of paper, as you write visualise yourself in the moment, how you would do that task, or what it would look like for you to achieve your goal. What would your life look like?

  • Select the top 3 statements, or most relevant to the urgent goals, this will avoid overwhelm

For the next 2 -3 weeks, keep that new list pinned up somewhere where you see it regularly (I’m a fan of the bathroom mirror)

  • Repeat the new phrases several times throughout the day, each time visualising yourself actually doing the thing

Supercharge the process with a Reflection Walk - intentionally walk for at least 30 minutes thinking on one statement at a time, really see yourself doing the thing, feel it in your body, see how your life will change when you achieve the goal. The idea is to make it really real in your brain and your body

Other super charger option - if it is a task ‘thing’, practice doing the movement, or activity while repeating the positive statement

Now for some super secret, top shelf Coaching advice: JUST DO IT!

I know, I’m amazing huh?!

But honestly, the best ways to smash your limiting beliefs and achieve your goals is to adjust your mindset and JUST DO IT #thankyounike

Create that new positive superhighway of thinking and embody your goal by taking the first step (even iii it’s a tiny weeny baby step) towards your goal.

What’s one of your limiting beliefs?

If you are after some accountability, email me or DM on the socials with your limiting belief in the comments below and let’s see if we can get you through it #freecoaching

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Linda Ferrari | Women's Personal Coach

I acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the land where I work and live, the Bunurong people of the South-Eastern Kulin Nation, and pay my respects to Elders past and present.

I celebrate the stories, culture and traditions of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Elders of all communities who also work and live on this land.

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