Balancing our feminine and masculine energy for a fulfilled life

Masculine energy helps us to operate in the outer world; it makes us strong, independent, and confident. Also known as Synthesisers.

Feminine energy helps us love and connect to others. It's what makes us creative and intuitive. Also known as Empathisers.

One of these energies is usually our dominant energy (think in terms of left hand or right hand, you can use both but generally default to your preferred hand). The dominant energy is not dependent on our sex, or gender but can be influenced by our conditioning.

In order to live a happy and fulfilled life - in all areas of our lives from love and romance to career and physical health - we need both energies in balance. But how?

Which energy, masculine or feminine (or Synthesiser or Empathiser), is your dominant?

  • What do you need more of: more doing or more being?

  • Do you need to be more allowing or assertive?

  • Can you speak up for yourself?

  • Are you speaking your truth and creating healthy boundaries?

The interplay with others is a delicate, ever-changing process. Learning to use your feminine power by connecting to the masculine and feminine aspects in you is uplifting for you and for everyone in your life.

For some people the female energy lies dormant, or we have switched it off and adopted masculine energy to either protect ourselves or survive in a ‘man’s world’. Sadly, this only perpetuated the imbalance of energy. While fighting for our rights, we’ve had to tap into the masculine energy to gain ground, but what if we stepped into our feminine energy, and met the world with our feminine energy?

What happens when our energies are unbalanced?

Unbalanced feminine energy is hedonistic, present-minded and indulgent with no direction or goals. And it can be seen in both men and women - think mid-thirties, overweight man boozing it up with his buddies while still chasing 20-something tail and still living in his mother’s basement.

Unbalanced masculine energy is all striving, all push, with no fulfilment. And it can be seen in both men and women as well - think harried, overworked, chronically-single female who’s entirely attached to her phone with no downtime to relax, or even date.

To achieve a harmonious balance, we must embrace equal parts feminine and masculine. They are two haves to the same whole:

There can be a balance, we can be powerful and soft.

We can be creative and explosive.

We can be totally focussed and ebb and flow.

We can have science and the arts.

We can be practical and logical and emotionally intelligent.

We can achieve success and fulfilling relationships.

What would happen if we approached situations with curiosity rather than criticism?

What if we listened to the person with love and sensitivity rather than rising to the conflict to battle it out?

Imagine what would happen if you washed the argument with love rather than being right...

But how do we actually balance the energies out?

Too much masculine energy - you may start to feel tired, stressed, overworked and missing that element of fun.

Find your feminine flow:

  • Visit Mother Nature for some grounded nurturing. Rainforests, creeks and the ocean are all teeming with natural feminine energy. Go for a hike in the rainforest or a stroll along the beach if you’re feeling the masculine burn. At home you can simply take off your shoes and walk around outside, plant a garden or buy a new indoor plant.

  • Unleash your creativity. Draw, cook, colour in, paint, dance, write or simply take some time to play Lego with the kids. These tasks let you relax and express yourself through a creative outlet. Combine some nature time and start a garden from scratch.

  • Loosen your grip, let go of the control. Micro managing is no fun for you or the receiver. Trust your team, partner or kids to do their best, appreciate their efforts. no it’s not the same as they way you did it, it may even be better! Sometimes letting someone else take control can leave you feeling agitated. Breathe and take a step back. It’s good for your soul. And theirs.

  • Be present in this very moment. It can be quite easy to get caught up in the ‘what’s next’ mentality. It’s hard to get used to this feeling of ‘relaxing’ when you’re constantly busy and it can feel like you ‘should’ be doing something. You shouldn’t. We all need to do nothing every once in a while. Read a magazine without feeling guilty, watch an entire Pixar movie in bed with the kids, sit outside and stare at the trees. And put the phone away – it’s hard to live in the ‘now’ when you’re checking emails, Facebook messages or scrolling through what others are up to.

Too much feminine energy - you may feel unfocused and unmotivated, have trouble making decisions, standing your ground or getting tasks done.

Man up:

  • BHAG (Big Arse Hairy Goals). Start something with a goal to not only finish it, but nail it. Whether it’s a challenge through your gym or a challenge that involves you going out of your comfort zone, find the motivation to give it a go. Extra man points for something physical that gets your body really huffing and puffing.

  • Bring out Bob the Builder. The act of building or constructing something is very masculine. I’m the Flat Pack Queen, not only the figuring it out, the muscle power to make it all go together, but standing back with hands on hips admiring my handy work. One of my most fun constructions was with my youngest son when we put together our new TV stand, we both felt very clever and brought a whole new level of appreciation to the TV.

  • Make a plan. Masculine energy is all about moving forward. To channel this masculine energy, plan a function, an event or a holiday. Make a list of things to do and tackle them, one by one. To-do lists are great when we need to find that productiveness that might be lacking.

Using masculine and feminine energies to your advantage

Conflict or unbalance in our lives often occurs when masculine and feminine energies are not in balance. For example, if both you and your partner are taking on the masculine role, it can lead to a fight for power as both of you try to be right. Or maybe your feminine energy is in overwhelm and you are lost in your feelings and struggling to find a way forward.

Polar energy attracts. The law of polarity is the principle that everything has two “poles”: good and evil, love and hate, attraction and disconnection. Think of the North and South Poles on a globe or a battery with its negative and positive terminals. Everything in the universe has an opposite. Everything is dual. And it’s what allows us to experience life to the fullest and appreciate the good in the world.

Be aware of what energy is guiding your, and reach out for the other energy.

Finding that harmonic balance starts with learning how to identity and develop these very powerful energies.

Linda Ferrari | Women's Personal Coach

I acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the land where I work and live, the Bunurong people of the South-Eastern Kulin Nation, and pay my respects to Elders past and present.

I celebrate the stories, culture and traditions of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Elders of all communities who also work and live on this land.

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